I’m gonna skip ahead anyway to a deceased person i wish I could talk to.

Grandma,
I miss you. The time that has passed since you died hasn’t made that any better, but to be honest I never expected it to. You were a big part of my life, well duh, you’re my grandma. I always wonder what you think of my life or the people I spend it with. I know you’d love Dakota, he’s an amazing person and he never ceases to amaze me. I know you’d probably frown about my piercings and my tattoo, but you’d accept it. If I ever got the chance to see you again, it would probably be a lot easier to talk to you than it is right now, because just thinking about everything makes me want to cry and its not easy to think when you want to cry. It makes my life easier that Dakota’s grandparents remind me of you and papa.. But I wish I had what he had.I wish you had taken care of yourself, that you asked for help. Maybe then I wouldn’t be sitting here writing to you. I can’t hold it against you though, you did what you could. You were always there for me, and I will regret it for the rest of my life that I wasn’t able to tell you goodbye. But maybe it’s better this way. I guess I’ll never know. But it was an honor to know you and I wish I could see you again.